You’re Not Behind. You’re Parenting.

To the Mom Who Thinks Everyone Else Has It Together

I think we all do it.

We look at another mom and think, She really has it together.

Her kids are where they’re supposed to be. She remembered the permission slip. Everyone seems to have clean clothes. She knows when soccer practice starts, what day picture day is, and somehow there’s probably something in her refrigerator for dinner.

Meanwhile, maybe your kitchen counter is covered with things you haven’t put away, there’s a pile of laundry waiting for you, and your hair has been in the same bun since 7 a.m.

Here’s something I wish I had understood when my kids were younger:

Most of us are figuring it out as we go.

It has taken me 20 years of being a mom to feel like I somewhat know what I’m doing. And even now, I certainly don’t always feel that way.

When your children are little, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees because so much of what you’re doing is new.

Your first child starts kindergarten. You’ve never had a kindergartner before.

Then suddenly you have a middle schooler. You’ve never parented a middle schooler before.

Then it’s high school, sports, after school activities, friendships, driving, college applications and eventually watching them leave home.

These may be ordinary stages of childhood, but when you’re living them for the first time, they’re firsts for you, too.

And all the while, you’re juggling a hundred other things.

I think sometimes we mistake experience for having it all together.

The mom who seems to know exactly what to do may simply have been through that stage before. Maybe she has an older child. Maybe another parent helped her through it. Maybe somebody gave her a great piece of advice at exactly the right time.

That’s why I think parents need each other.

Ask questions. Share what worked. Tell another parent about the thing you wish someone had told you. Lean on your friends, your family and your community.

And give each other some grace.

More importantly, give yourself some grace.

One of the things I’ve realized after owning My Urban Toddler for 20 years is that this idea has shaped our store, too.

I’ve spent years researching products, talking to parents, watching children actually wear things, and learning which products hold up and which ones don’t.

I know how frustrating it is to buy a pair of pants only to have them wear out too quickly. Or to buy something for your baby that looked great online but wasn’t well made or didn’t work the way you thought it would.

Busy parents don’t have time to research every single purchase.

So we do a lot of that work for you.

We look for quality. We think about how things feel, how they wash and whether they’ll actually work for real kids and real families. We curate so you don’t have to spend your limited free time sorting through hundreds of options.

And when you order online, there are real people here. We see that order come through, and often within moments someone is already walking through the store picking your items, packing them and getting them ready to come to you.

Because I understand something now that I didn’t fully understand 20 years ago:

Parents don’t need more things to do. They need people who can make some of those things easier.

And this isn’t just for moms.

It’s for dads, grandparents, caregivers and all of us who love these kids and are doing our best to help them grow into good humans.

So if your kitchen counter is a little messy today, that’s okay.

If your laundry room is chaotic, that’s okay.

If your hair is in a bun again, that’s okay too.

You’re probably not behind. You probably just don’t have enough hours in the day to do everything you’re asking yourself to do.

Your kids aren’t going to remember whether the laundry was always folded.

They’re going to remember you.

So give yourself some grace. Ask for help when you need it. Help another parent when you can.

And remember that while we’re busy trying to get everything right, childhood is happening right now.